While providing an orientation to new employees recently I had a realization about something that makes Cloverleaf’s company culture unique.
Around the room was a UX Designer that was most recently a Spanish teacher and a Product Marketing Manager that was previously an attorney….or at least passed the bar even if he didn’t practice law.
While a fun story that may not be a spectacular indicator of a great company culture but when you consider that the person that runs Customer Success for our coaching community spent 10 years as a construction accountant or our VP of Engineering was a former architect or that even I started my career as a Risk Manager then you have a trend that communicates something about how we see talent and could inform how you should think about talent.
When we started Cloverleaf, to communicate what we wanted to create I would draw 3 circles in a Venn diagram. I would talk about how the market would focus on just experience, but that there were these other factors that were key to success in a role. This near single-minded focus on experience has the effect of shrinking the candidate pool and keeping organizations from top talent. Instead, we wanted to create a way to provide insight into all areas of human performance including values, behavior, and strengths.
Why do we have all these people that have undergone somewhat extreme career transitions? That isn’t a prerequisite to work at Cloverleaf, but rather it speaks to how we let core values be a driver in the hiring/selection process.
One example of this is using exercises or challenges as a part of the hiring process that looks at how candidates solve problems. Candidates that have had multiple careers often look at problems differently. They don’t fall into the same patterns of how things were solved previously and they always ask different questions. They are truly curious about problems and potential solutions. This is a necessary trait when building a new market segment or dreaming up approaches to new problems.
Our product helps bring transparency and data to areas of individual, team, and organizational performance. And you can literally see this curiosity for growth when you look at our team on the Cloverleaf product. The Learner® strength from CliftonStrengths® is our second most prevalent strength with a full third of our team having this as a top strength. A full half of the team has either Love of Learning or Curiosity as a top VIA strength and a third of the team has Critical Thinking as a top Strengthscope strength.
If you want to be more strategic about the culture you are creating for your team get started with a free team trial.
For some reason when you think of feedback examples you’ve received from a manager, one might instantly be transported back to a time in grade school when we were summoned to the principal’s office. No matter how old you are, that memory always sticks with you.
As a leader, feedback is NOT about getting anyone “in trouble.” While feedback can be positive or constructive (as opposed to negative feedback) the goal of employee feedback should always be to contribute to team members and the company culture. It’s part of taking on the role of coach; not just boss. It includes performance management, communication skills, and work styles.
When To Give Feedback
One of the most critical things about how to give feedback is WHEN you give it (whether it’s constructive feedback or positive feedback). Follow these simple guidelines:
Give feedback as CLOSE to the relevant circumstances as possible: Holding onto feedback is a disservice to the team member and gives you one more thing to juggle on your calendar. Time may not always allow for it to be in the moment, but delivering the feedback in a timely manner (one week or less) is better than just waiting for the next performance review.
Know the time AND place: Never give constructive feedback to someone in front of others. Period. Always make sure you are in a private space to share constructive feedback. Remember, the person you are about to talk to could be having a 3rd grade flashback, so be kind.
Read the room: Take into consideration your own state of mind, frustration level, and the wellbeing of the rest of the team. (i.e. don’t give constructive feedback if you are annoyed or if the person is visibly upset or feeling it and about to lose their lunch.)
How To Give Feedback
Feedback is not a two-word sentiment. It’s not “good work, thank you, nice job, or stop that!” Sure, we should say thank you but giving good feedback requires giving SPECIFIC feedback. It’s about what happened, what didn’t happen, what went right, what went wrong and even what can be done better next time.
Before we even get into the “meat” of the feedback, let’s start at the beginning. Choosing HOW to start a feedback conversation can set the tone for the entire conversation and employee experience.
Feedback is what you say…
Examples of Positive Feedback:
“I’d love to share some good news with you.”
“That was an incredible presentation, let’s unpack all of what worked.”
“I’ve really noticed the extra effort and creativity you’ve been putting into this current project, let’s talk about what’s working.”
What to notice: All of these statements imply there is something MORE to discuss, share, and give positive feedback about. Feedback is a conversation not a one time ATM deposit.
Examples of Constructive Feedback:
“There’s something I want to go over with you about our current project. Let’s put our heads together. “
“I’ve noticed that some of your work isn’t at the level of detail that it usually is. Is everything ok?”
“We obviously need to discuss the disagreement that you and Sue had in the meeting. Where would you like to start?”
What to notice: These types of feedback seek to create common ground and partnerships. They are inclusive, not handing down some disciplinarian edict from on high. When you include the person as an active participant in the conversation, feedback examples like this are easier for others to receive.
…AND how you say it
The HOW you say it is a combination of things like tone, body language, facial expression, and even volume. Here’s a list of do’s and dont’s.
Do
Smile when appropriate.
Be at eye level (either both seated or both standing).
Watch your resting “you-know-what” face.
Avoid the eye roll entirely.
Inject humor when appropriate. It’s ok to laugh!
Ask if the person has any questions.
Don’t
Raise your voice. Ever. (1950 called and wants their management style back)
Avoid admitting anything that might be your responsibility.
Interrupt. Just listen.
Go on and on and on. Make sure it’s a dialogue.
Do anything else while delivering feedback. Your exploding inbox can wait.
Try to remember all of these things. Just be authentic and real.
Here are some real feedback strategies that work:
One of the most popular models for giving effective feedback that has stood the test of time is the STAR model. For those of you who like acronyms and easy to remember words you can keep in your back pocket, this one’s for you:
S = The Situation
T= Task
A= Action
R= Result
The STAR Model For Giving Positive Feedback
S = You’ve really gone the extra mile and done the hard work with the Smith account.
T= When they threw that last minute pivot at you..
A= You knew exactly what information to pull in to improve the situation.
R = Our main contact was thrilled and is planning on expanding their contract with us.
The STAR Model For Giving Constructive Feedback (with a twist)
S= I know things have been stressful since Sarah left our team..
T= And I realize that you were struggling with this last project..
A= It felt like you rushed as we got towards the deadline instead of asking for support..
R = Which means we have a few things to double back to make sure we have all the bases covered.
In SOME feedback models, it is suggested here that the manager GIVE direct reports the alternative result, but what can be even more powerful is to apply a coaching technique.
Follow up this constructive feedback with a coaching question.
Here are a few examples:
Is there something I could have supported you with?
What would you do differently next time?
How can the team better support you in the future?
What do you think is the best place to start in “Q-Aing” the project?
Whether you are delivering a bouquet of compliments or have to discuss some difficult constructive criticism, simple tweaks to how you approach giving regular feedback can go a long way with employee engagement.
What matters the most is how someone feels once they walk away from the conversation.
In the words of Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Use Cloverleaf to put this into practice; visit your dashboard now.
If you’re a leader ready to learn practical management skills that utilize coaching to develop your team, check out the Boss To Coach Playbook.
In support of a coach approach to managing performance, Gallup® shares: “Today’s employees want a manager who is invested in their personal and professional development. They want frequent feedback — and opportunities to do more of what they do best.”
So how can you offer continuous, real-time feedback that helps empower and motivate team members to help them do more of what they do best?
Performance Management Tools For New Managers
Your 1-1 Meeting Cadence
To evolve past a performance management system that relies heavily on “event-based” performance, it’s vital to have some regular meeting cadence with your team members. While every organization may have different performance management tools (and some may have none at all), it’s up to you to lead the way in your 1-1 meetings and ensure they are valuable.
Depending on the size of your team, your 1-1 check-ins may be weekly, bi-weekly, or at least monthly. The important thing here is that every conversation is an opportunity to develop employee engagement and employee performance. It’s the ongoing practice that makes the difference.
During your 1-1 meetings, It’s not uncommon to focus on urgent pressing matters that relate to the day-to-day of your work. However, a good practice to develop is to allow 25-30% of your meeting time for real-time individual employee development. This might mean setting or following up on goals, or even creating new ones as old ones are accomplished.
Speaking of goal setting….
Some companies may require setting annual employee performance goals that will come up on performance reviews. Annual goals sound great in theory, but there’s a reason why New Year’s resolutions don’t work. Feel free to Google this one to your heart’s content, but consider that goals with shorter timelines have a much higher chance of reaching the finish line.
Monthly or quarterly employee goals that support performance can be both DIRECT or INDIRECT. For example, Direct goals may relate specifically to a person’s role or function. INDIRECT goals may be general professional development activities that help a person to develop skills or behaviors that help to support career advancement.
For Example:
DIRECT: Close 30% of current warm sales leads into paying customers.
INDIRECT: Participate in an optional communications training with the Learning & Development team.
Notice these goals are pretty specific. Goals never include terms like “more, better, or try to…” A productive goal has to be connected to a specific result or event.
When taking a coach approach to performance goal setting, remember not to insert your own agenda. When your team members design their own goals they’ll exert a certain level of ownership over them. As you coach individuals to set goals, support them in designing action steps to help get them there. Don’t forget to ask how you can support them as their manager.
The art of the follow up
The key to supporting goal accomplishment over time is following up. This isn’t school and you aren’t checking homework. You’re leveraging coaching here to check in on progress. You’re also inquiring about where you can continue to support goal achievement through continuous feedback.
Following up is a type of continuous performance management that also reveals when goals need to be tweaked or changed. Projects and initiatives pivot and change course all the time. This may change direct performance goals or organizational goals. As you follow up, you’ll be able to help your team make goals customizable as needed.
Opportunities to improve skills may also arise as your team seeks to develop their own career. As a bonus tip, make sure you are aware of the training and development plans and opportunities your organization offers. This allows you to have them in your back pocket for the perfect time.
Following up is about consistency. Do it often and listen for where you can make a difference.
Coaching Strategies For Effective Performance Management
As a leader, it’s important for you to tap into your team members’ highest potential. There are certain scenarios where it’s up to you to listen for what’s possible. Here are just a few coaching solutions:
When it might benefit the individual to stretch themselves: “I know you can knock this month’s OKRs out of the park. If you think about what you did last quarter, what outcome would really motivate you?”
When an individual does NOT accomplish a performance goal: “Let’s take a closer look at the metrics so you can refocus your goal. What worked and what didn’t work? How can I support you?”
When you sense a professional development opportunity can advance a goal: “I know you mentioned you’d like to become a manager someday. Of the trainings available to our department this quarter, what is one that interests you the most to support this goal?”
When a goal needs to pivot: “What adjustment to your current goal would make the most difference?
So what is the rewarding part of all of this we alluded to earlier? Watching people grow, achieve and expand IS inspiring. Seeing the people you lead challenge themselves, and knowing you played a small supporting role can be extremely satisfying. So think of your team as a blank canvas of opportunities to contribute to and put these performance management tools to work. They might just come back and thank you later.
About Stephanie Licata
With more than two decades of leadership and management experience, Stephanie Licata is a skilled professional coach, adult learning specialist, consultant and speaker. She has trained thousands of leaders and managers in the art and science of coaching as part of large-scale projects to develop coaching cultures within organizations. Stephanie received her professional coaching certification from New York University, and is also certified at the ACC level with the International Coaching Federation. She holds a BS in counseling and a Masters in Organizational Psychology from Columbia University.
Download the Cloverleaf Assessment Guide
- A comprehensive list of the assessments that Cloverleaf offers
- Summary of each assessment and what insights you get
- Anticipated time commitments for each assessment
HUMAN SKILL PROGRAMS ARE HITTING LIMITATIONS...
- Close the widening gap between learning and on-the-job application
- Overcome the tension of pausing productivity for development opportunities
- Integrate learning so it is actually in the flow of work
- The evolution of human skill development
- What Automated Coaching™ is and how it works.
Part of being a great manager is knowing when to use certain approaches to leading. While coaching isn’t new, in the last 25 years coaching in the workplace has become more widely accepted. It’s important not to overcomplicate what coaching is and to recognize what it isn’t (it’s not therapy or feel-good fluff).
In its simplest definition, coaching is facilitating positive change with individuals and teams to unlock potential. This happens through a subtle nuance in how the leader communicates and empowers the team member to own their experiences. Effective coaching is also learning by…coaching. You can’t learn to coach by just reading a book or taking an online course. It’s a leadership skill that is honed over time.
Coaching Skills: It all starts with Listening
Active listening is one of the most critical fundamental leadership coaching skills you can develop. When we are actively listening we are NOT interrupting, interjecting our own stories and thoughts. We are OTHERS focused. We might ask some clarifying questions and comment on what the person is saying:
- It seems like you are really frustrated with the current situation, is that fair to say?
- Can you say more about __________ (Insert something you aren’t clear about)
- You’ve shared this challenge with me a few times, are you noticing any pattern?
- I want to thank you for coming to me with your feedback about the project. I really appreciate your attention to detail.
As you listen more intently, your team member will share information with you that can help clue you into asking the right questions. The coaching approach here is to keep the focus off of yourself, your knowledge, and your ideas. Yes, it’s true. Coaching is not about you.
Coaching Skills: Asking & Goal Setting
Once we are empowering team members in doing their own thinking, it’s important to support team members in making their ideas actionable. The next two critical coaching skills for managers to explore are powerful questioning and goal setting.
Powerful Questions
Part of learning this coaching style is ASKING before launching into TELLING. Many people believe that they are great coaches, but they are often great MENTORS, sharing expertise. Here are a few examples of powerful questions effective leaders use:
- What is the next step here given the goal you’ve set for yourself?
- What would it look like if this problem were solved?
- What would be the impact on you if you received this promotion?
Goal Setting
Ideas die unless they become actions. A good coach helps team members transform ideas into action.
- What is a goal you could set to help avoid this problem in the future?
- How can I support you in your goal to be promoted to leadership?
- What best practices would you need to adopt to support you in accomplishing your goal?
When To Use Coaching…and When Not To Use Coaching
That might all sound great, but am I constantly questioning everyone on my team? The answer is: NO. If someone asks you where a file is located, you are not going to respond: Well what would be the impact on you if I found that file?
You are going to give them the file or direct them on how to get it.
Part of understanding when coaching employees in the workplace is to understand more about its intent: to develop the competence and confidence within individuals by inviting them to do their best thinking. Here’s when you want to use coaching:
- When an employee is repeatedly coming to you with the same issue.
- When a team member is having interpersonal issues with another team member.
- When a team member expressed a desire to move up within the organization.
- When preparing a team member to take on new responsibilities.
As you continue in your leadership role you’ll develop the intuition and emotional intelligence to know when to coach and when not to coach.
HUMAN SKILL PROGRAMS ARE HITTING LIMITATIONS...
- Close the widening gap between learning and on-the-job application
- Overcome the tension of pausing productivity for development opportunities
- Integrate learning so it is actually in the flow of work
- The evolution of human skill development
- What Automated Coaching™ is and how it works.
The GROW Model For Coaching
The GROW coaching model, designed by Sir John Whitmore is one of the easiest to execute applications of coaching in the workplace. Follow these simple steps in a formal or informal coaching conversation for optimal results. With each step of the model, you’ll find helpful questions to guide you at the facilitator.
Goal: The coaching process starts with establishing a goal. It could involve performance goals, development goals, problem-solving, decision-making, or a goal for the coaching session.
- What do you want to achieve from this conversation?
- What do you really want?
- What would you like to accomplish?
- What result are you trying to achieve?
- What outcome would be ideal?
- What do you want to change?
- What would the benefits be if you achieved this goal?
Reality: Next you want to get a read on the current state or situation. What is actually happening or NOT happening? Great managers take it slow here and leverage their active listening skills:
- What is happening right now in a nutshell?
- What steps have you already taken to reach your goal?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you that you can accomplish this goal/resolve this problem?
- What strategies have you used in the past that were successful?
- What is the single biggest obstacle standing in the way of you achieving your goal?
- What is working well right now?
- What could you do better this time?
- What could be another possible interpretation of what _________said or did?
Options: Once you both have a clear understanding of the situation, the desired goal, or the problem, the coaching conversation turns to what the team member can do to reach their goal.
- What are your current options?
- What is the best next step you could take here?
- What would happen if you did nothing?
- What has worked for you already? How could you do more of that?
- What is the most challenging part of this particular goal?
- What is a similar situation you’ve faced in the past and what did you do to resolve it?
- What has helped you achieve goals in the past?
- What’s the upside/downside of your options right now?
- What option is your gut telling you to try first?
- How would you like things to go if there were absolutely no limits?
Will or Way Forward: You close out a coaching conversation by gaining commitment from your team member on specific actions they are going to take on. This is where the person begins to own their results.
- What do you think you need to do right now?
- What does success look like here?
- How can I support you with your desired result?
- Is there anything missing from your plan or next steps?
- What will one small step you take now?
- Is there anyone else you need to have a conversation with to ensure your success?
- Do you need to block time on your calendar for any relevant actions?
- When should we check back in on your progress?
It may seem like a lot of questions, and the truth is a successful coaching conversation is one where you don’t say much. You teach others to lead themselves. At times team members may get frustrated and just want to be told what to do. This is the path of least resistance for some, but in the long run, it keeps them stuck.
And in the midst of it all, remember that there are times when a leader needs to step in and be very direct in their approach in order to add clarity to a situation. This isn’t a coaching skill, but is a valuable tool that you’ll still need as you lead.
We hope this list of effective coaching skills for managers has helped you. To learn more about how to develop coaching skills, download our e-book right now for free.
About Stephanie Licata
With more than two decades of leadership and management experience, Stephanie Licata is a skilled professional coach, adult learning specialist, consultant and speaker. She has trained thousands of leaders and managers in the art and science of coaching as part of large-scale projects to develop coaching cultures within organizations. Stephanie received her professional coaching certification from New York University, and is also certified at the ACC level with the International Coaching Federation. She holds a BS in counseling and a Masters in Organizational Psychology from Columbia University.
Finding satisfaction in your career has become harder with the changing work landscape and a constant buzz of social media notifications. Companies are moving towards initiatives that include new and foreign hour structures, virtual meeting styles, digital workspaces, and more. For many, developing these new skills can be overwhelming.
Job coaching has come a long way from the days of fluorescent-lit rooms with slide screen presentations. Now, with new technologies and modern connectivity at our fingertips, learners have an opportunity to step out of those well-lit rooms and into a sunnier digital space of personalized, quality-driven, job coaching.
What is Job Coaching?
Job coaching comes in many forms and plays an important role in creating interconnected teams, improving employee communication and interpersonal skills, increasing work awareness, and understanding others’ needs alongside one’s own. From executive officers to new hires, there is a spot for everyone but not everyone has taken advantage of these new opportunities. Let’s go over some differences in coaching styles and see some ups and downs.
What is Executive Coaching?
Executive coaching or executive development is an agglomerate phrase and a well-known term covering several mentoring subcultures. From one-on-one mentoring to executive seminars, these coaching styles focus on educating the top of a traditional org chart to better position the business for success or help the CEO make better decisions. In a sense, it’s traditional coaching but there can be a variety of variations that tailor to the needs of the individual.
Despite the high profile, Executive coaching has ups and downs. It is a nebulous term that often encompasses wide-spanning terminology such as goal setting, personal development, and individual success. These terms are notoriously vague and many can see no improvement due to murky goal setting. Despite the terminology, Executive Coaching often leads to a highly focused coaching style that caters to the individual benefits of business leaders but at an often high price per session.
What is Coaching On Demand?
Coaching on demand is a version of executive coaching that is targeted to early and mid-career professionals. This type of coaching is typically booked online through an app or website. Most sessions are virtual, facilitated by a certified coach, and are offered at a steep discount compared to other types of executive coaching.
On-Demand coaching like this makes executive level coaching accessible to more people. A professional schedules an appointment at a time convenient for their schedule or for a specific challenge, and the two parties usually don’t develop a long-term coaching relationship. This type of executive coaching works well to help solve a specific career problem or crisis, but doesn’t allow for longer-term leadership development and progress.
What is Mid-Level Coaching?
This coaching style has been popular for a long time and has been the butt of plotlines and jokes across popular media for decades. With phrases like “Leadership Seminars” and “Success workshops” this coaching style widens its target demographics and focuses on the middle to upper-level management. From directors to the executive suite, mid-level coaching often takes place in groups and often follows the same ideas as executive coaching, but brings in a coach from outside the organization to offer help.
The goal of most mid-level coaching opportunities is to break down the boundaries that upper-level management places on themselves through work culture, stress, career style, and more. It is a calculated and coordinated second opinion that looks to improve decision-making, flexibility, and leadership skills.
These phrases and uses for Mid-Level coaches seem as vague as Executive Coaching, but it is far from it. The nebulousness of on-demand coaching comes from its large array of tools and uses. However, the cost typically associated with this type of leadership coaching is significant which makes it incredibly difficult to scale and does not offer the same impact that many get from executive coaching.
What is Micro-Coaching by Cloverleaf?
Cloverleaf’s coaching style finds its success in the digital nature of most modern businesses where new technologies combined with teamwork are the driver’s of a business’ success. Micro-coaching or continuous micro-coaching or Automated Coaching™ is the use of weekly, daily, hourly, or continual coaching in micro-doses. Think of it as small snippets of helpful information to optimize the day for success and increase the daily takeaway.
Micro-coaching, like a digital business, thrives on algorithms and data. Cloverleaf personalizes its professional development through personality tests like the Enneagram, DISC, Energy Rhythm surveys, Strengths Finder, and other metrics. These suggestions provide answers and integrate team-related content into its coaching sessions.
This small tweak to the traditional model of coaching offers new approaches for team collaboration and employee development. By providing team analysis, Cloverleaf can take the Enneagram and DISC of each member and plot them on charts to better visualize how each member learns, works, rests, and creates, allowing for a more agile and high-performing team.
HUMAN SKILL PROGRAMS ARE HITTING LIMITATIONS...
- Close the widening gap between learning and on-the-job application
- Overcome the tension of pausing productivity for development opportunities
- Integrate learning so it is actually in the flow of work
- The evolution of human skill development
- What Automated Coaching™ is and how it works.
One of the most challenging things about being a new manager are the moments we have to have conversations we wish would…have themselves. Going from boss to coach means difficult conversations are an opportunity for growth; for you AND the team member. You will learn more about conflict resolution from the tough conversations than from the easy ones.
How do you learn to have difficult conversations? You have to have them. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable, make mistakes, and learn from them.
Why Do We Hate Difficult Conversations?
We all arrive in our roles bringing our entire lives up until this moment. The environments we grew up in shape our view of how to communicate, how to interact with conflict (or how to avoid it) and how to empathize.
We don’t teach kids in school all of these crucial conflict management skills. No offense to your favorite math teacher, but perhaps some communication skills could have gotten as much air time as the isosceles triangle?
The adults we become then show up in the workforce with varied viewpoints and have to magically know how to navigate these difficult situations. We hate difficult conversations because we:
- Don’t have the skills to navigate them.
- Don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
- Have grown accustomed to avoiding conflict.
There’s actually a huge fallout to avoiding these conversations. According to Bravely, 70% of employees are avoiding difficult conversations with their boss, colleagues, or direct reports. This actually costs companies money, time, and employee engagement.
Types of difficult conversations
Addressing differing perspectives and workstyles
- These can be minor and based on interpersonal reasons or even work-specific perspectives that need to be ironed out.
- An ongoing discomfort in your relationship with a team member (i.e. increased misunderstandings, tension, etc).
Identifying a workplace behavior that has a negative impact
- You’ve got a super start on your team, but they tend to roll in Monday morning sharing about their weekend and are TMI gold medalists. Some team members feel a little uncomfortable and before it gets worse, you’ve got to address it.
- You have a team member who has attendance or lateness issues.
- A team member hasn’t been pulling their weight.
Managing conflict between two team members
- Two team members regularly disagree during team meetings causing discomfort for the team and delaying team action.
- There’s been an actual incident in the workplace of conflict that must be addressed ASAP.
- A project is stalled because of conflict between co-workers.
Having to fire someone
- Negative performance has been a pattern and after all appropriate action has been taken according to HR. You have to let the person go.
- Budget cuts or layoffs are impacting the company and a person’s position is being eliminated.
Starting Difficult Conversations
The reality is these types of conversations usually cannot wait. The impact of waiting can make the impact even worse for the individual, your team and yes…you. Similarly with giving feedback, how you START the conversation can really set the tone for a productive face-to-face interaction. Here’s some conversation starters that help to level the playing field as you approach a conflict situation:
- “There’s something I think we should discuss that will help improve our working relationship.”
- “I’d like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I’d like to get your point of view.”
- “I think we have different perspectives about ____________. I’d like to understand how you are thinking about it.
- “I’d like to see if we can come to a mutual understanding regarding___________. I really want to understand where you are coming from and also share my perspective.”
These difficult conversation starters help to interrupt fear and make it clear that this will be an exchange. Notice there is no judgment about the differences that may be present. This is part of becoming a good leader. Embracing that there are people who have valid perspectives that you may not agree with and understand is critical to being able to create mutual respect as you collaborate and lead others.
Difficult Conversation Planning Strategies
For all you color coded planners out there, YES you can plan for a difficult conversation. However you don’t want to OVERPLAN. Let some of it be organic. It’s tough to trust yourself but remember you can always criticize yourself with some self-deprecating humor later with a friend. Here’s a helpful guide to preparing for these conversations:
- Determine the desired outcomes from the conversation, for YOU and the team member.
- Pick your conversation opener. Don’t overscript it, but have a general idea.
- Remember to use your active listening skills to better understand the person’s point of view, even if you don’t agree.
- What are the MOST important things you need to get across?
- What information do you need (if any) to support the conversation?
- Anticipate some possible responses and consider how you will handle each one. This is not supposed to freak you out, it’s just to give you some batting practice for the big game.
- What is the BEST case scenario? (Yes, let’s get positive going into this. We often go to a place of gloom and doom, making crucial conversations like this more difficult than they have to be.)
- What are the next steps you need to communicate in conversation (i.e. does this conversation require any follow up?
Remember our FEAR about these challenging conversations is usually bigger than the actual conversation. You will often let out a huge sigh of relief after you have one, so remind yourself of the COST of waiting. Go all Nike on this one and just DO IT!
HUMAN SKILL PROGRAMS ARE HITTING LIMITATIONS...
- Close the widening gap between learning and on-the-job application
- Overcome the tension of pausing productivity for development opportunities
- Integrate learning so it is actually in the flow of work
- The evolution of human skill development
- What Automated Coaching™ is and how it works.