Imagine a workplace where every conversation sparks innovation, where every team meeting leaves you feeling more energized than drained. It’s not just a daydream; it’s the potential reality of a team that understands the profound interplay of personality types and practices the art of conflict resolution. This isn’t about lofty ideals but a practical roadmap to transforming everyday interactions into building blocks for a thriving organizational culture.
In this post, Stephanie Licata and Peggy Murriner, experts in organizational behavior and personality analysis, detail the core of effective teamwork. Through their unique lens, they unravel the complexities of human dynamics in professional settings, offering insights that turn potential workplace conflicts into opportunities for unparalleled growth and collaboration.
Too often, organizations focus merely on the functional role and hope that good team performance somehow follows. This is why even the most expensive professional sports teams often fail to perform according to the individual talents of each player: There is no psychological synergy. A more effective approach (like the mission to Mars example) focuses as much on people’s personalities as on their skills,’ highlighting the critical need for considering personality dynamics within teams. – Harvard Business Review
Stephanie’s expertise in the subtleties of team dynamics converges with Peggy’s innovative approach to personality frameworks. Together, they present a fusion of ideas that will challenge your perceptions, equip you with practical strategies, and inspire a new way of thinking about team interactions.
Whether you’re leading a diverse team, striving to find your place in a complex work environment, or simply curious about the psychological underpinnings of workplace relationships, this conversation is for you.
So, let’s uncover the secrets to working together and excelling in a workplace where every personality type is a valuable piece of the puzzle that can contribute meaningfully to the team.
Decoding Workplace Personality Conflicts: Beyond the Surface Interactions
Team dynamics are often like an iceberg – what we see on the surface is just a fraction of the complex interplay beneath. Unearthing the subtle yet critical aspects of these dynamics is possible by understanding the nuanced differences between conflict perception and the realities of challenging, constructive dialogues in a team setting.
The Nature of Conflict in Teams:
- Perception vs. Reality of Conflict: Stephanie Licata sheds light on a common misconception: Sometimes we perceive that something is going to be a conflict but it’s really just a difficult conversation. It’s a challenging conversation, right? This distinction is crucial in team dynamics, as it differentiates between unproductive personal disputes and the constructive challenges essential for progress.
- Healthy Conflict as a Growth Catalyst: Peggy Murriner observes, The highest performing teams actually allow themselves to engage in healthy conflict. Task conflict, as opposed to personal conflict, can be a powerful tool for team innovation and problem-solving. Adopting this perspective emphasizes that conflict isn’t an obstacle but a driving force for creativity and improvement when managed correctly.
In understanding the nature of conflict within teams, it’s insightful to consider broader workplace trends. According to the Niagara Institute, the most common conflict management style is collaboration, used by 59.8% of professionals, followed by compromise at 24.4%. Interestingly, more confrontational styles like competing, avoiding, and accommodating are less frequently employed.
75% of employees believe their direct manager could handle workplace conflicts better. Moreover, 60% of HR professionals attribute workplace conflicts to poor management. On a positive note, 95% of those who receive conflict resolution training report an improved work environment, underscoring the value of such training.
Leaders and teammates must realize that personal experiences of conflict can heavily influence team dynamics. Understanding that these stories exist and everyone has a personal narrative can help people effectively navigate conflict with empathy.
The Role of Preparation and Individual Conflict Styles:
Being proactive and understanding the unique conflict styles of each person is vital. It’s about striking the right balance between engagement and resolution, ensuring all discussions, no matter how challenging, are geared towards the team’s collective goals.
Free Playbook For Creating An Engaging Employee Experience even During Challenging Times
- What The Future Workplace Looks Like
- How To Activate Emotional Intelligence Within Your Team
- Factors Of Employee Motivation
- Strategies For Employee Engagement
- A Hybrid Work Model For Collaboration, Flexibility, & Fulfillment
- The Power Of Coaching In The Workplace
- How To Reduce The Impact Of Labour Turnover
The Role of Personality Types in Conflict Resolution
Have you ever wondered why some team disagreements fuel creativity while others end in stalemate?” This question lies at the heart of exploring how personality types shape conflict resolution within teams.
Understanding the intricate role of personality types in conflict is essential for fostering effective team dynamics. Each team member brings a unique approach to handling conflicts, shaped by their inherent personality traits and different perspectives.
Unpacking Personality Dynamics in Conflicts:
Healthy conflict, focused on tasks rather than personal differences, can be a catalyst for a team’s innovative solutions and problem-solving. Successfully managing conflict requires differentiating between personal animosities and constructive debate.
What we often anticipate as a looming conflict is frequently just a necessary, albeit challenging, conversation. – Stephanie Licata
Leaders who acknowledge this insight can better influence how their team approaches what initially appears as conflicts, transforming them into opportunities for open communication and growth.
Leveraging Personality Assessments:
Tools like the 16 Types, DISC, and Enneagram provide a framework for understanding teammates. These assets are not just about categorizing personalities but about gaining deeper insights into how different individuals approach conflict and collaboration. The insights from these tools can be transformative in crafting strategies that play to each team member’s strengths and preferences.
4 Strategies for Navigating Conflicts Between Different Personalities:
- Identify and Adapt to Individual Conflict Styles: Begin by assessing each team member’s preferred style of handling conflict (using tools like DISC or the Enneagram). Then, tailor your approach accordingly. For example, if an individual appreciates directness, address issues head-on with them. If another prefers to avoid conflict, find ways to engage them in dialogue, ensuring their perspective is heard without causing discomfort.
- Promote Constructive Conflict for Innovation: Create a team culture where task-related conflicts are not seen as hurdles but as opportunities for innovation. Celebrate when individuals voice differing opinions on tasks or projects and facilitate these discussions in a structured way.
- Practice Empathy: Develop empathy by seeking to understand each team member’s background and how it shapes their approach to conflict. Use regular one-on-one meetings to understand their perspectives and fears.
- Balance Dialogue and Team Goals: Ensure that all discussions, even when they diverge into conflict, are aligned with the team’s overarching goals. Set clear agendas for meetings where potential conflicts may arise and remind teammates of the common objectives. Facilitate discussions so that the viewpoint of conflicting parties is connected to how it helps or hinders the team’s progress toward these goals.
Managing conflict in the workplace involves a nuanced interplay between understanding and action. It’s about recognizing the fine line between disruptive conflict and healthy debate to harness the latter to nurture an environment where diverse opinions and styles coexist and work together to drive the team forward.
The Key to Effective Communication Among Diverse Personalities Within Teams
Within diverse teams, varied communication styles can often lead to misunderstandings or poor communication. However, by acknowledging and celebrating the diversity in how individuals communicate, teams can unlock more depth in their interactions to create more inclusive and effective teamwork.
Recognizing that there is a spectrum of communication styles and valuing each member’s unique approach can bring a new level of understanding and cohesion, turning potential discord into an opportunity for richer, more inclusive discussions.
In a team, every voice matters. Encouraging and valuing diverse perspectives enriches the conversation and leads to more innovative solutions. – Stephanie Licata.
When teammates truly understand and adapt to the various ways of communicating, what they see as simple conversations can evolve into powerful collaboration tools for untapped potential.
4 Ways To Experience Effective Communication Between Different Personalities
1. Cultivate a Culture of Active Listening: Fully engage with those speaking, try to understand their point of view, and respond thoughtfully. This practice helps ensure all ideas are considered and valued and minimizes miscommunication.
2. Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Emotional intelligence is a cornerstone of effective team communication. Understanding and responding to the emotional context of communications can create more empathetic and effective exchanges.
3. Regular Feedback and Check-ins: Establish regular feedback and check-ins to maintain open lines of communication within the team. Regular team meetings and one-on-one sessions offer a platform to address concerns, share successes, and reinforce a culture of positive communication.
4. Utilize Communication Tools: Leveraging personality assessments is invaluable in understanding and enhancing team communication. Many tools offer profound insights into a person’s unique way of interacting, work styles, sharing ideas, and receiving feedback.
Dissolving Personality Clashes With Cloverleaf's Insightful Coaching
One of the most effective ways Cloverleaf aids teams is by using personality data from tools like the 16 Types, DISC, and Enneagram to provide Automated Coaching™. These layered insights allow teams to illuminate the diverse ways individuals may engage in different types of conflict and communication. Leveraging this understanding can transform personality issues into a foundation for stronger, more resilient team dynamics.
Given the statistics on conflict management styles and their impact on employees, Cloverleaf’s tools become even more essential. They offer innovative ways to understand and address these challenges, aligning with the preference for collaboration and reducing the negative impacts of conflict.
Embracing a Future of Teamwork Shaped By Self and Other Awareness
The key to unlocking a team’s full potential lies in embracing the diversity of personalities, understanding the true nature of conflict, and harnessing the power of empathetic communication. By adopting these insights, teams can transform challenges into opportunities for growth and innovation.
The future of teamwork is not just about individual competence but about creating psychological safety, where each member’s unique traits and perspectives are valued and integrated into a collective force. It’s about moving beyond the conventional and stepping into a world where every interaction is a chance to learn, grow, and excel together.
We hope you take these lessons to heart, apply them within your teams, and experience the transformation firsthand. If you haven’t already, explore Cloverleaf’s suite of tools to gain deeper insights into your team’s dynamics so every member can thrive.
Let’s face it. We’ve all had conflicts in the workplace. Whether they are small or large, conflicts are a natural part of work and unavoidable. Even the most favorable environments will occasionally end up with team members who are at odds with one another. However, when teams view conflict with the right perspective, they can use it as an opportunity to improve communication, interpersonal relationships, and the culture of the organization.
Successful conflict management as a manager can go a long way towards realizing these benefits By understanding and implementing effective conflict resolution strategies, managers and leaders can foster a work environment that thrives on diverse perspectives and ideas without letting disagreements hamper productivity.
What is Conflict Resolution And how does it work?
Conflict resolution in the workplace is a process that two or more parties can follow to find an amicable resolution to their disagreement. The process can be formal or informal. And, keep in mind, Aas a manager, your company may have a defined conflict resolution process in place for you to implement.
In conflict resolution, every step you undertake is aimed at addressing disagreements, whether it’s between you and a direct report or among team members. Effective compromise is a hallmark of strong leadership. Successful conflict resolution can be broken down into:
- Identifying the Root Causes of the conflict
- Crafting Effective Solutions to address these causes
- Leveraging Conflict Management Tools
By gaining experience in these three domains, you’re well-equipped to navigate any disputes that arise in your professional journey. This expertise will cement your reputation as a fair mediator, adept at crafting balanced solutions for various conflict scenarios.
7 COMMON TRIGGERS OF CONFLICT IN THE WORKPLACE
Understanding the root causes of conflict is pivotal for people leaders when equipping managers with the tools and strategies to handle disputes adeptly. The factors influencing disagreements can range from interpersonal dynamics, age demographics, and industry-specific stressors to external personal pressures.
Here’s a deep dive into some prevalent conflict triggers, coupled with actionable insights for managers:
1. Poor Communication
Often, poor communication skills are one of the main causes of conflict. When people disagree on policies, procedures, schedules, tasks, and other details, it can easily escalate into an argument that strains relationships and decrease collaboration among teammates.
You may also see employees who have a difficult time communicating with their coworkers and may come off as aggressive or passive-aggressive. Sometimes trying to talk with one another is an exercise in frustration. If the company has inefficient or obsolete communication tools, this only adds to the stress when trying to convey information effectively.
2. Unclear Expectations
Every team member needs to understand their expectations, or their assumptions can lead to unseen conflict. Suppose two staff members have wildly different expectations about who is responsible for what, the tasks that are priorities, and the time required to do each item on the list. Varied assumptions among team members inevitably sow the seeds of conflict. Differences in perceived responsibilities, task priorities, or expected timelines can lead to issues. Regular alignment meetings, clear role definitions, and consistent feedback loops can keep everyone on the same page.
3. Unrealistic Workloads
Long stints of overtime or being in crunch mode constantly will wear people out, even high-potential employees. When employees are unable to take a long-term look at a project or the tasks they’re doing, they have to operate in the moment at all times, without a minute to catch their breaths. The burnout from project stress can create a workplace ripe for conflict. You may see that people are short-tempered, aggressive, frustrated, and have poor judgment. If you’ve reached burnout and want to heal, check out the 5 Stages Of Burnout Recovery to learn more.
4. Personality Issues
Every individual is unique, bringing their distinct personality, experiences, and aspirations to the team. Sometimes, you may observe certain personalities, such as two highly competitive team members, seemingly at odds with each other. However, the beauty of diverse teams lies in their potential to harness these differences.
On some occasions, strong personality clashes might give the impression of a challenging work environment. However, challenges present an opportunity for growth. Understanding and respecting individual preferences and aligning strategies can transform potential conflicts into avenues for teamwork and productivity.
Leverage Behavioral And Strength-Based Assessments For Greater Self-Awareness In Your Organization
Tools for assessment and personal growth can be pivotal when personality issues arise. These resources can aid individuals in recognizing their areas of expertise and areas for improvement, offering insights into varied approaches to work and communication.
5. Defensive Dispositions
Some employees may take constructive criticism and other forms of feedback as a personal attack. When their work or ideas don’t get the expected reaction, they may take a defensive stance and argue about why they’re right. Managing conflict means reassuring the person that the feedback is intended to help, not hurt them. One tool that can help leaders provide customized, accurate feedback is DISC. To learn more, check out the post: Leveraging DISC Profiles For Effective Work-Related Feedback.
6. Inconsistent Procedures
How often do workflows, policies, and procedures help change your organization? If employees need to relearn how to do basic work tasks regularly, they’ll never figure out a routine that works best for their productivity. Misunderstandings about new ways of doing things can lead to conflicts without a good solution, especially if the new policies can be interpreted in different ways.
7. Concerns About The Past Work Experiences Repeating
Employees’ perspectives are not based solely on their workplace experience. People bring all of their professional and personal histories with them, which can influence how they respond to conflict. Toxic work environments, abusive coworkers and bosses, and other bad experiences can lead someone to react poorly in conflict situations. As a manager of people, understanding that your team members are whole people can help you create a workable solution for everyone involved.
By understanding these triggers and equipping managers with strategic solutions, people leaders can pave the way for a harmonious, productive, and progressive workplace.
Free Playbook For Creating An Engaging Employee Experience even During Challenging Times
- What The Future Workplace Looks Like
- How To Activate Emotional Intelligence Within Your Team
- Factors Of Employee Motivation
- Strategies For Employee Engagement
- A Hybrid Work Model For Collaboration, Flexibility, & Fulfillment
- The Power Of Coaching In The Workplace
- How To Reduce The Impact Of Labour Turnover
14 Conflict Management Tips For Managers & Leaders
Successfully navigating conflicts hinges on possessing the right set of skills. As a manager or leader, having these tools in your toolkit allows you to adapt and respond aptly to diverse situations. Conflict resolution isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s a dynamic process that takes into account individual relationships, team dynamics, and the broader organizational context.
People react to conflict differently: some vent their frustrations and then move on, while others ruminate on disagreements, letting them taint future interactions and potentially fostering a passive-aggressive work environment. Employing the right management skills and solutions is crucial to addressing such issues head-on.
Below, discover the leading methods and skills to effectively resolve workplace conflicts.
1. IDENTIFY THE SOURCE OF THE CONFLICT
To effectively resolve a disagreement, it’s crucial first to understand its origin from all involved parties’ viewpoints. Grasping the underlying issues paves the way for constructive solutions and resolutions.
2. ADOPT A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE ON CONFLICT
How you perceive conflict can greatly influence its outcome. If you see it merely as a time-consuming hurdle or an inevitable downside of teamwork, you risk escalating issues, whether through neglect or mishandling. Instead, embrace conflict as an opportunity to gain deeper insights into your team’s dynamics, needs, and reactions. It’s an avenue to bolster employee engagement and fine-tune team direction. Prioritize understanding your team’s individual work styles and motivations—doing so can provide invaluable context during conflict resolution.
To dive deeper into understanding your team’s preferences and motivations, watch how Cloverleaf can help you.
3. Practice Active Listening
Truly understanding an issue requires genuine listening. Make it a point to deeply hear out the parties involved, seeking clarity through thoughtful questions. Recognizing potential external influences or uncharacteristic behaviors can be key. Your primary role at this stage is to ensure everyone feels acknowledged. Once you’ve thoroughly gathered insights from all sides, you’ll be better equipped to formulate a conflict resolution strategy.
4. Facilitate Productive Conversations
An aspect of listening requires assuming the role of guiding a constructive conversation. Encourage individuals to articulate their experiences and feelings, as this can often unveil miscommunications or the root causes of the disagreement. Strategic questioning can further propel the discussion, steering all parties toward a mutual resolution.
5. Use Empathy
Understanding isn’t just cognitive—it’s emotional. Strive to genuinely feel the emotions and perspectives of those involved. By aligning with their sentiments and ensuring they know their feelings are recognized, you build trust and openness, which are essential for effective conflict resolution.
6. Serve As A Mediator Between Team Members
Effectively mediating conflicts between team members is a hallmark of adept leadership. Facilitating a calm and open environment where aggrieved parties can communicate is paramount. Successfully mediating helps address issues head-on, preventing them from snowballing into larger challenges.
7. Take Accountability For Your Words And Actions
Should you find yourself at the center of a conflict, taking ownership of your actions is crucial. Even unintended missteps can escalate situations; acknowledging them is the first step toward resolution. Demonstrating this level of responsibility paves the way for others to adopt a constructive approach to conflicts.
8. Be Transparent And Open
Prioritizing transparency is pivotal in conflict management. By being clear and open about your decision-making processes in resolving disputes, you can sidestep potential claims of favoritism or bias. Regularly update all involved parties about the status of the resolution, reinforcing an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
9. Genuinely Engage In The Process
Your team seeks authenticity, not a rehearsed dialogue. Address issues by tuning into the specifics of each situation and the individuals involved. Tailor your methods to acknowledge and address each individual’s unique circumstances and conflict resolution styles.
10. Frame Discussions With Objectivity
When discussing conflict, anchor conversations in facts rather than emotions. For instance, state, “Our objective is to reach a consensus on the printer’s location.” By centering on the clear end goal, you streamline the resolution process and align everyone’s focus toward a common target.
11. Incorporate Change Management Into Your Culture
Should disagreements stem from changes in workplace protocols or systems, prioritizing robust change management is key. Change management isn’t merely about implementing shifts but ensuring smooth transitions. This involves equipping employees with the necessary training, clarity about updates, and platforms to voice their feedback, ensuring they’re not just bystanders but active participants in the change.
12. Use Emotional Intelligence
Emotional awareness not only aids in understanding your team’s underlying feelings and sentiments but also gauges their satisfaction with resolutions. Furthermore, this quality enhances workplace relationships, often distinguishing effective leaders who genuinely connect with their teams.
13. Evaluate How Things Are Going
Consistently engage with the individuals involved in the conflict. Regular check-ins offer an accurate pulse on their feelings and provide an avenue to ensure conflicts remain resolved.
14. Recognize When To Make Tough Decisions
There are instances where reconciliation seems unattainable. Persistent arguments, underlying tension, or disruptive behavior can deteriorate the workplace atmosphere. In such cases, it may be necessary to consider reassigning individuals or, in extreme situations, making the difficult decision to part ways with an employee to maintain a positive work environment.
4 Step CONFLICT RESOLUTION GUIDE
Navigating conflict resolution can be challenging, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the terrain. To guide you, here’s a structured approach to mending bridges:
- Demonstrate Understanding: Make it clear that you comprehend their perspective and concerns.
- Acknowledge Your Role: Admit and recognize your contribution to the disagreement.
- Express a Desire for Resolution: Emphasize your commitment to finding common ground and resolving the issue together.
- Revisit the Conversation: If immediate resolution isn’t achieved, give it some time and approach the topic again later.
7 Proactive Strategies To Prevent Conflict In The Workplace
While addressing and resolving conflicts is crucial, proactively preventing them can lead to a more harmonious and productive workplace. Instead of merely firefighting, the key lies in fostering an environment where potential conflicts are nipped in the bud. By equipping your workspace with the right tools, training, and resources, managers can pave the way for smoother interpersonal relationships and minimize disruptions.
1. Utilize Communication Channels:
Efficient communication is paramount. Embrace tools that facilitate open communication, whether they’re software-based, like emails, chat applications, or video conferencing.
Explore the Cloverleaf integrations with everyday tools. Find out more here.
2. Prioritize Availability
Reflect on your daily schedule. Is there a dedicated window where team members can reach out to you directly about potential issues? Ensure a consistent open discussion slot, signaling your team that their concerns are valued.
3. Proactively Address Pending Conflict
With the right systems for conflict resolution in place, preemptively identify and address budding tensions. Recognizing early signs of discomfort can drastically reduce the negative impact on the team’s dynamics.
4. Prioritize Team Engagement
Regular team interactions can cultivate stronger bonds, whether through meetings or casual team lunches. Creating spaces for open dialogue often defuses tensions before they escalate.
5. Champion Fairness
Favoritism can erode trust. Ensure you treat every team member equitably, fostering an environment of mutual respect. For more on this, check out the post: How To Address Unconscious Bias In The Workplace.
6. Address The Elephant In The Room: Avoiding issues only leads to mounting tensions. Address the proverbial “elephant in the room” head-on, ensuring issues are dealt with transparently and reinforcing your credibility as a leader.
7. Leverage External Insights And Coaching
Sometimes, an outside perspective can offer invaluable insights into internal conflicts. Consider integrating third-party coaching services, like Cloverleaf, which combines personalized coaching with data-driven analytics, offering a comprehensive solution for conflict resolution.
How Does Cloverleaf Help?
If left unchecked, team conflicts can precipitate a cascade of challenges within an organization. Effective conflict management, therefore, isn’t just a responsibility—it’s an imperative for managers. Enter Cloverleaf, a dynamic solution tailored to preempt, navigate, and resolve conflicts, fostering healthier team interactions and stronger organizational dynamics.
Core Conflict Management Solutions Delivered by Cloverleaf:
1. Anticipating Team Friction: Instead of reacting to conflicts, Cloverleaf enables proactive measures by helping you understand the sources of conflict for every person on your team.
2. Navigating Internal Blind Spots: When internal tensions rise, seeing the overarching issues is challenging. Cloverleaf offers an external lens, bringing clarity and solutions that might be missed from an inside viewpoint.
3. Bespoke Conflict Strategies for Unique Teams: Every team is distinct, and cookie-cutter solutions often fall short. Cloverleaf customizes its approach by merging assessment data and conflict resolution coaching, ensuring that strategies resonate with your organization’s specific needs.
4. Unearthing Deep-Rooted Conflict Triggers: Addressing surface-level issues without understanding the root causes is akin to applying a band-aid on a deep wound. Cloverleaf dives deep to unearth the real reasons behind conflicts, ensuring sustainable resolutions.
5. Skill Enhancement for Modern Managers: Beyond just resolving the current conflict, Cloverleaf’s Automated Coaching™ provides actionable insights, preparing managers for future challenges, enhancing communication, and fostering a culture of continuous learning and improvement.
6. Transforming the Narrative on Conflict: Instead of being seen as roadblocks, conflicts can be growth catalysts. Cloverleaf repositions the perception of conflict, making managers not just problem solvers but also enablers of team evolution and personal growth.
Final Thoughts
Effective conflict management is about addressing disputes and fostering a proactive, transparent, and emotionally intelligent workplace culture. With tools like Cloverleaf, organizations are empowered to navigate conflicts and prevent them, ensuring teams remain cohesive, productive, and harmonious. As managers and leaders, embracing both preventive and corrective strategies ensures a dynamic, engaged, and resilient team capable of driving unparalleled success in any industry.
Mention the word “conflict,” and it often evokes a sense of discomfort or unease. It’s not surprising then that conflict has garnered quite a negative reputation, particularly conflict in the workplace.
However, it’s time to flip the script and view conflict differently. Conflict can serve as a springboard for innovation and enhanced problem-solving when we handle conflict appropriately. Renowned organizational psychologist, Adam Grant, offers a fresh perspective:
The absence of conflict is not harmony; it’s apathy. If you’re in a group where people never disagree, that could only happen if people don’t care enough to speak their minds. – Adam Grant
Let’s pause and reassess our perspective on conflict, focusing on task conflict. This term refers to disagreements about how to achieve a common goal in the work environment.
Leaders can pave the way for ingenuity and out-of-the-box thinking by cultivating an environment that encourages respectful disagreements. In this light, conflict transforms from an intimidating foe to a powerful catalyst for innovative decision-making.
On the other hand, personal conflict is the type we typically like to avoid. Personal conflict surfaces when clashes arise due to deep-seated issues with someone’s attributes or personality, and we internalize it.
Allowing personal conflict to fester creates an unhealthy workplace, undermining morale and productivity. Hence, conflict resolution becomes critical. It’s crucial for every individual, irrespective of their role or level, to build trust and cultivate understanding and empathy for their colleagues and to continually challenge their own preconceptions.
Now that we’ve unpacked the two kinds of conflicts – task and personal – let’s take the conversation further. Should we aim to manage conflict or strive to resolve it completely?
Key Takeaways:
- Conflict, particularly task conflict, can serve as a catalyst for innovation and enhanced problem-solving when handled appropriately.
- Distinguishing between task and personal conflicts is crucial. Task conflicts can often be managed, while personal conflicts typically require resolution.
- Conflict management and resolution strategies can significantly enhance team productivity and morale, such as clear communication, constructive disagreement processes, and understanding of conflict triggers.
- Embracing conflict, rather than avoiding it, can boost team performance, foster workplace harmony, and lead to better overall results.
The Art Of Dealing With Conflict: Knowing When To Manage vs. Resolve
Not every conflict can be neatly resolved like a sitcom plot in a half-hour episode. Some conflicts may involve an ongoing process where the team continuously hammers out disagreements to eventually reach a decision or desired outcome.
Think about conflict surrounding a decision, process, or goal. This type of conflict, often a task conflict, can be managed over time through active listening and effective communication skills. It’s like a simmering pot on a stove – we keep an eye on it, adjust the heat as necessary, stir occasionally, but let it simmer until it’s ready. The urgency to reach a resolution may be less acute than when dealing with personal conflict.
However, personal conflict often requires immediate attention. It’s like a pot boiling over – left unattended, it can create a mess, causing uncomfortable situations, cliques, and a negative atmosphere that threatens team cohesion and productivity. This kind of conflict calls for prompt resolution, nipping the issue in the bud before it drains the team’s energy and time.
Free Playbook For Creating An Engaging Employee Experience even During Challenging Times
- What The Future Workplace Looks Like
- How To Activate Emotional Intelligence Within Your Team
- Factors Of Employee Motivation
- Strategies For Employee Engagement
- A Hybrid Work Model For Collaboration, Flexibility, & Fulfillment
- The Power Of Coaching In The Workplace
- How To Reduce The Impact Of Labour Turnover
4 Effective Strategies For Conflict Management
1. Establish Clear Communication Channels: Clarify ground rules where everyone feels comfortable expressing their ideas and concerns, promoting effective conflict resolution.
2. Develop A Constructive Disagreement Process: Create guidelines for handling disagreements, focusing on the issue rather than the individuals involved.
3. Respect Differing Viewpoints: Cultivate a company culture that values diverse perspectives and appreciates differing opinions.
4. Compare Communication Styles: Utilize Cloverleaf’s Automated Coaching Tips to gain insight into each member’s communication style. This understanding can enable individuals to navigate conflicts with greater awareness of how one another communicates.
5 Essential Steps To Resolving Personal Conflicts
1. Create A Safe Environment: Ensure that all members feel secure and respected on common ground, which is the foundation for effective conflict resolution.
2. Initiate One-on-One Discussions: Handle personal conflicts with care, offering private discussions to address the issues directly.
3. Facilitate Mediation: A neutral third party can help facilitate difficult conversations and conflict resolution when conflicts escalate.
4. Involve Human Resources: In certain cases, it may be necessary to involve HR professionals for further assistance, particularly when conflicts risk violating company policy or workplace rights.
5. Understand Conflict Triggers Among Teammates: Utilize the side-by-side comparison feature in Cloverleaf to help employees explore the diverse thinking patterns and motivational factors of their teammates.
Determining the Course of Action: Conflict Management or Conflict Resolution?
Task conflicts can often be managed, as they typically revolve around differing views on a project or task at hand. They can even spur creativity and innovation when navigated correctly. However, personal conflicts, rooted in personal differences or disagreements, can disrupt team harmony and need to be resolved promptly.
3 Ways To Know If You Should Manage Or Resolve The Conflict
To evaluate whether managing or resolving a conflict is necessary, consider the following aspects:
Type of Conflict: If the cause of the conflict revolves around work procedures, roles, or task distribution, it’s likely a task conflict. On the other hand, if the disagreement is based on personal attributes, it’s a personal conflict.
Conflict Impact: Is the conflict disrupting the team’s workflow or affecting the workplace negatively? A conflict that impacts productivity and team morale or fosters hostility requires swift conflict resolution.
Conflict Duration: How long has the conflict been ongoing? A conflict that persists over an extended period, especially personal, could be damaging to the team dynamic and therefore requires immediate conflict resolution.
4 Red Flags That Conflict Is Impacting Team Harmony and Productivity
Conflicts, when left unchecked, can erode employee engagement and hinder productivity. A few signals that a conflict might be affecting your team could be:
Silent Treatment: One of the first signs of reduced communication is the ‘silent treatment’ – emails going unanswered, fewer casual conversations, or abrupt responses. Individuals may begin to withhold important information from each other, impairing collaboration and slowing down progress on tasks.
Enthusiasm Erosion: A drop in morale often shows up as an erosion of enthusiasm. You may notice decreased participation in meetings, lack of initiative, or negative body language. People may seem less eager to contribute, brainstorm, or share their ideas, sapping the team’s energy.
A Revolving Door of Employees: A high turnover rate can clearly indicate a poor conflict resolution process. If employees leave at a higher than usual rate, especially if they’re key members or those with critical skills, this could signal that the work environment has become too hostile or stressful due to unresolved conflicts.
Subpar Deliverables: A decline in the quality of work may be evident in multiple areas – increased mistakes, missed deadlines, or a lackadaisical approach to tasks that were previously done with care.
The added tension and stress from unresolved conflicts can result in team members being less focused or motivated, leading to outputs that are below the usual standard.
Understanding these nuances of conflict and being able to recognize their signs are vital for maintaining a harmonious and productive team. Early identification allows for prompt intervention, whether that means managing the situation or seeking to resolve conflict.
Strategizing for Success: Conflict Management in Everyday Leadership Scenarios
Effective conflict management isn’t just about theory but practical application. So, how can leaders channel conflict to serve their team rather than hinder it?
To understand this better, let’s explore two scenarios from a leader’s perspective:
Scenario #1: Managing Conflict with a Peer
Task Conflict: Imagine you and a peer, both managers, have a difference of opinion regarding a project where your teams have to collaborate. This disagreement stems from your attempts to safeguard your team’s interests.
The instinct might be to defend your stance adamantly, but the key here is to switch gears from talking to listening. Seek to understand the rationale behind your peer’s approach and view it from their perspective.
Instead of pushing your agenda, strive to create a cooperative partnership. A practical approach could be mapping out the pros and cons of each perspective to foster mutual understanding.
Personal Conflict: Picture organizing an employee recognition event alongside a fellow leader. This peer dismisses your ideas and tries to monopolize the conversation, leading to mounting frustration and escalating tension.
In such a situation, asserting boundaries respectfully and without reactive hostility is crucial: “It seems there’s a disparity in our approach, and I feel a bit sidelined. Could we restart the discussion with a mutual agreement to respect and consider each other’s ideas?”
It might feel awkward to vocalize such sentiments, but setting the tone for interaction is essential. Always remember honesty can pave the way for collaboration. Speaking your truth doesn’t mean burning bridges; rather, it sets the foundation for healthier communication and more productive partnerships.
Scenario #2: Mediating Conflict between Two Teammates
Task Conflict: Two team members clashing over a task or project approach isn’t necessarily negative. In fact, their differing viewpoints can be a source of innovation! As a leader, your role is to facilitate a productive dialogue between them.
First, gather the involved parties and encourage them to present their perspectives. Make sure each idea is fully understood by all parties.
Next, provide your own feedback on the suggested approaches, then encourage each team member to recognize the value in the opposing idea. Foster a spirit of collaboration rather than competition.
Finally, challenge them to jointly create the best possible solution, leveraging their newfound mutual understanding.
Personal Conflict: Navigating personal conflicts between teammates can be challenging, but with a systematic approach, resolution is attainable.
First, arrange a meeting in a neutral setting, ideally after both parties have had time to cool off from the immediate heat of the conflict.
Next, guide each person to articulate the conflict and their feelings in clear terms, focusing on behaviors and desired changes. Encourage the use of “I” statements to avoid blaming.
Facilitate active listening by having each party restate what the other has expressed.
Then, summarize the conflict based on what you’ve heard and secure agreement from both parties on the identified issues.
Conclude the meeting by fostering a sense of teamwork. Encourage the parties to acknowledge each other’s efforts and thank them for their commitment to resolving the conflict.
Remember, your role as a leader isn’t just to extinguish fires—it’s to help your team navigate through them to come out stronger on the other side.
Embracing Conflict, Not Escaping It Is The Solution
Leaders inadvertently set the stage for more complex and increasingly difficult issues to manage by avoiding conflict. Often, conflict arises from misconstrued intentions and assumptions about others. That’s why gaining insights into your team’s dynamics is crucial for effective conflict management and resolution.
Leveraging platforms like Cloverleaf can help you foster better understanding and synergy in your team’s interactions, accelerating conflict resolution and fostering a stronger, more cohesive organization.
Visibility into the communication styles, work approaches, and intentions of colleagues can significantly bolster team cohesion, and improve collaboration, impacting organizational effectiveness.
Schedule a meeting today to learn how Cloverleaf can help you develop the leaders who manage teams.
Final Thoughts
Embracing and understanding conflict is a powerful strategy to boost team performance, foster workplace harmony, and increase organizational effectiveness. The key lies in recognizing the type of conflict at play, appreciating its impacts, and navigating it effectively – either through management or resolution. Remember, conflict isn’t the enemy – it’s how we handle it that makes all the difference.
In today’s increasingly diverse and globally distributed teams, fostering a culture of inclusivity and understanding is essential. One key aspect of promoting this inclusive environment is addressing unconscious bias in the workplace.
Unconscious bias, sometimes called implicit bias, refers to the attitudes and beliefs we unknowingly hold towards others, often stemming from stereotypes and societal expectations. These biases can significantly impact our interactions and decisions, potentially leading to discrimination, exclusion, and unhealthy workplace culture.
The harmful impact of workplace bias is starkly illuminated in a survey where an alarming 33% of those subjected to bias report feelings of alienation. Equally concerning is that 34% of employees facing bias choose to hold back their ideas and solutions. And a massive 80% would hesitate to recommend their employer to others.
These are clear indications of the long-term damage to an organization’s reputation and ability to attract and retain top talent. The importance of addressing unconscious bias in the workplace cannot be overstated.
Organizations can create more inclusive, productive, and engaging work environments by recognizing and actively working to eliminate these biases. This, in turn, benefits not only individual employees but also the overall success and growth of the company.
The following sections will explore unconscious biases, how they manifest in workplace interactions, and practical strategies for preventing and overcoming them to create an inclusive workplace.
Understanding Key Unconscious Biases:
Understanding the different types of unconscious bias is crucial for addressing and mitigating their impact in the workplace. While there are many forms of unconscious bias, we will focus on six common types that are particularly relevant to the recruitment process, hiring decisions, and work environment.
6 PREVALENT FORMS THAT IMPACT THE WORKPLACE
1. Affinity Bias
Affinity bias occurs when we unconsciously favor individuals with similar characteristics, backgrounds, or interests. This can lead to preferential treatment and less diverse teams, as people may inadvertently gravitate towards others who remind them of themselves.
2. Confirmation Bias
Confirmation bias is the tendency to seek out and interpret information in a way that confirms our pre-existing beliefs and assumptions. In the workplace, this can manifest as a manager overlooking an employee’s positive attributes or accomplishments simply because they have already formed a negative opinion about them.
3. Halo Effect
The halo effect refers to viewing someone in an overly positive light due to one outstanding quality or achievement. This can lead to biased evaluations and expectations, as individuals may be given more opportunities or responsibilities based on an inflated perception of their abilities.
4. Horns Effect
The horns effect is the opposite of the halo effect. It occurs when one negative characteristic or incident unfairly colors our perception of an individual, causing us to overlook their positive attributes or accomplishments. This can result in missed opportunities for growth and development within the workplace.
5. Attribution Bias
Attribution bias refers to attributing our successes to our efforts and abilities while blaming failures on external factors. Conversely, we often attribute others’ successes to external factors and their failures to personal shortcomings. This bias can lead to unfair judgments of employees’ performance and potential.
6. Racial and Gender Bias
Gender and racial biases are specific types of unconscious bias manifesting as discriminatory attitudes, beliefs, or stereotypes based on a person’s gender or ethnicity. These biases can lead to discrimination and exclusion within the workplace, limiting opportunities and advancement for underrepresented groups of people.
By familiarizing ourselves with different forms of unconscious bias, we can become more aware of how they may manifest in our daily interactions with teammates. This heightened awareness is the first step towards addressing and mitigating their negative impact in the workplace.
Free Playbook For Creating An Engaging Employee Experience even During Challenging Times
- What The Future Workplace Looks Like
- How To Activate Emotional Intelligence Within Your Team
- Factors Of Employee Motivation
- Strategies For Employee Engagement
- A Hybrid Work Model For Collaboration, Flexibility, & Fulfillment
- The Power Of Coaching In The Workplace
- How To Reduce The Impact Of Labour Turnover
Detecting and Navigating Unconscious Bias in Workplace Interactions
To foster a truly inclusive and equitable work environment, individuals must recognize unconscious bias within themselves and their interactions with coworkers. This section will explore examples of unconscious bias in everyday interactions, common pitfalls in biased performance evaluations, and active listening techniques for detecting and managing preferences.
11 Examples of Unconscious Bias in Everyday Interactions
Unconscious biases can manifest in myriad ways within the workplace, often subtly influencing daily team interactions. By examining personal and relatable examples, leaders can gain valuable insights into how these biases may affect their organization.
1. Exclusionary Conversations: Favoring certain coworkers in group discussions, dismissing others’ ideas based on preconceived notions, or making inappropriate jokes or comments that marginalize specific individuals.
2. Cliques and Homogeneity: Forming cliques with like-minded individuals or those with similar backgrounds.
3. Biased Choices Affecting Fairness and Opportunities: Allowing personal biases to influence decisions on project assignments, promotions, or hiring, potentially disadvantaging qualified candidates.
4. Assumptions About Expertise: Assuming that specific individuals have more or less knowledge or expertise in a particular field based on their gender, race, or age rather than evaluating their actual qualifications and experience.
5. Microaggressions: Making subtle, indirect, or unintentional discriminatory comments or actions towards individuals from marginalized groups.
6. Overlooking Diverse Candidates: Unconsciously ignoring or undervaluing resumes from candidates with non-traditional backgrounds, names, or experiences.
7. Networking Bias: Favoring individuals who are more similar to you or belong to your social circle during networking events or informal gatherings.
8. Unbalanced Workload Distribution: Assigning tasks and projects based on gender, racial, or cultural stereotypes.
9. In-Group Favoritism: Favoring the opinions and ideas of team members who belong to your own social, cultural, or professional group.
10. Mentoring Bias: Selecting mentees or proteges based on personal similarities or shared interests rather than their skills, potential, or needs.
11. Office Space Bias: Assigning office spaces or seating arrangements based on implicit biases, leading to unequal access to resources, collaboration opportunities, or visibility within the organization.
5 Common Pitfalls in Biased Performance Reviews
As leaders striving to foster growth and development within your team, it’s crucial to ensure that performance evaluations are free from unconscious biases. Understanding and addressing potential pitfalls can create a more equitable and supportive environment for all employees.
1. Relying On Stereotypes: Evaluating an employee’s performance based on gender, racial, cultural, age, or personality stereotypes rather than their abilities and achievements.
2. Focusing On Recent Events: Overemphasizing an employee’s recent successes or failures rather than considering their overall performance over an extended period.
3. Comparing Employees Unfairly: Judging an employee’s performance against that of their peers without considering differences in roles, responsibilities, or circumstances
4. The “Similar-to-Me” Bias: Overvaluing employees who share similar interests, life experiences, or characteristics with you, leading to an inflated assessment of their performance and potential.
5. The “Negative Attribution” Bias: Tending to attribute an employee’s mistakes or shortcomings to personal factors while attributing successes to external factors or luck, leading to an unfairly negative evaluation of their performance.
Awareness of and addressing unconscious biases in workplace interactions is crucial for fostering a more diverse, equitable, and inclusive (DEI) environment. By understanding how these biases can manifest in communication, team dynamics, decision-making, and performance evaluations, leaders can take proactive steps to mitigate their impact.
Proactively Addressing and Preventing Unconscious Bias in the Workplace
Tackling unconscious biases proactively is essential for cultivating a workplace where every employee can flourish. A commitment to diversity and inclusion is indispensable for stimulating innovation, boosting employee engagement, and elevating overall business performance.
By championing these values, organizations can harness the power of diverse perspectives, experiences, and skills, resulting in more effective decision-making and problem-solving capabilities.
Furthermore, increasing self-awareness plays a crucial role in this journey. When employees and leaders become more cognizant of their biases, they are better equipped to challenge and change their thought patterns.
To become aware of your own biases, start by educating yourself.
Paying attention to your thoughts and examining your beliefs can help you identify your current assumptions. – Harvard Business Review
This heightened self-awareness reduces bias and fosters empathy and understanding, fostering an environment where every person feels valued and respected.
RESOURCES FOR IDENTIFYING BIASES
The Cloverleaf Team Dashboard is a powerful tool that enables leaders and team members to effectively identify biases within teams, providing an array of benefits and features, such as:
- Comprehensive Insights: Gain a holistic understanding of your team’s strengths, weaknesses, and communication styles to proactively identify and address potential biases.
- Validated Assessments: Access some of the most popular and trusted assortments to gather valuable individual and team dynamics to uncover potential biases.
- Actionable Automated Coaching™: Receive accurate, relevant, in-the-moment coaching nudges on how to address identified biases, enhance collaboration, and improve team performance.
Leveraging comprehensive insights, validated assessments, and actionable coaching empowers users to identify and proactively address potential biases.
5 ACTIVE LISTENING TECHNIQUES FOR COACHING AND MANAGING BIASES
Active listening is essential for detecting and managing unconscious biases in workplace interactions. By employing specific techniques and honing their active listening skills, leaders can foster open communication and promote understanding among teammates.
1. Provide Your Full Attention: Consciously focus entirely on the speaker, avoid distractions, and maintain eye contact. Practice being present in the moment, setting aside personal thoughts or judgments, and providing visual cues (e.g., nodding) to show engagement.
2. Reflect And Paraphrase: Summarize the speaker’s key points in your own words to ensure understanding and show empathy. Practice using phrases like “What I hear you saying is…” or “It sounds like…” to demonstrate that you are actively listening and valuing their perspective.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage further elaboration and exploration by asking open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Practice using phrases like “Can you tell me more about…” or “How did you feel when…” to invite deeper conversation.”
4. Suspend Judgment: Consciously set aside personal biases and opinions while listening to others. Practice active curiosity, seeking to learn and understand the speaker’s perspective, even if it differs from yours.
5. Providing Non Judgemental Feedback: Offer constructive, empathetic, and unbiased feedback. Practice using “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings without placing blame or judgment on the speaker (e.g., “I understand your concern, and I think it would be helpful if we considered…”).
By incorporating these tips into your daily interactions, you can effectively implement and improve active listening techniques, allowing you to better manage and address unconscious biases in the workplace.
Leadership’s Crucial Contribution to an Equitable Workplace Culture
Leaders play a pivotal role in shaping the culture of a workplace. Their actions, attitudes, and decisions set the organization’s tone and profoundly influence their teams’ behavior. In the context of unconscious bias, leaders have a significant responsibility to foster an equitable and inclusive work environment. Here’s how:
1. Exemplify Inclusive Behavior
As a leader, make a conscious effort to demonstrate inclusivity. Value each member’s unique contributions, celebrate diversity, and ensure fair treatment across the board. Modeling this behavior encourages others to do the same.
Acknowledging and valuing the unique strengths and perspectives of all team members, irrespective of their personality types
For example, incorporating members of each Enneagram Triad in your team could lead to a richer variety of viewpoints. The Gut Triad (Types 8, 9, and 1) brings instinct and intuition to the table. The Heart Triad (Types 2, 3, and 4) adds emotional intelligence and empathy, while the Head Triad (Types 5, 6, and 7) contributes intellect and analytical thinking.
Similarly, by considering all DISC profile types (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness), leaders can ensure a balance between assertive, people-oriented, steady, and analytical personalities respectively. This balance can promote comprehensive decision-making and effective communication within the team.
16 Types also provides insight into a range of personalities that leaders can use to foster a well-rounded and balanced team.
Leaders can celebrate inclusivity in a deeper sense by intentionally including and valuing members with diverse personality types. Going beyond obvious characteristics like race, gender, and age to value diversity in thought, perspective, and approach.
Don’t limit yourself or your team to a single perspective; remember, the more assessments you engage with, the richer your understanding becomes. Start your journey towards a more cohesive and productive team today by taking your first assessment at Cloverleaf!
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2. Implement Diverse And Inclusive Policies
Champion diversity and inclusion by establishing diverse hiring practices and offering equal growth and development opportunities. Create policies that discourage discrimination and encourage flexibility, ensuring everyone in your team feels supported.
3. Invest In Supportive Resources
Empower ongoing development by utilizing tools and training programs to showcase your commitment to reducing bias.
4. Facilitate Open Dialogue
Foster a culture of open, honest conversations around bias and discrimination. Regularly invite and be receptive to feedback, and take prompt action to address any issues that arise.
5. Monitor And Rectify Bias
Regularly assess the workplace for signs of bias. Solicit input from employees and conduct audits to implement measures to correct these biases swiftly.
By adopting these steps, leaders can ensure their leadership approach actively contributes to a more equitable, inclusive workplace culture.
The Long-Term Benefits of Addressing Bias In The Workplace
The journey to an inclusive and equitable workplace requires unearthing and addressing biases. Employees who feel valued and included are more likely to be committed to their roles, stay with the company longer, and contribute more effectively to the team’s goals.
Promoting a workplace free from bias is not just the right thing to do—it’s an intelligent business strategy that can drive growth, innovation, and success in the long term. It sends a strong message to potential employees, stakeholders, and the public that the company values fairness and equity. Further, an inclusive and equitable workplace attracts top talent from various backgrounds, enhancing the organization’s reputation, retention, and competitiveness in the global market.
Creating better workplaces is paved with awareness, understanding, commitment, and action toward reducing unconscious bias. While the journey may be challenging, the rewards – a truly inclusive, diverse, and equitable workplace where everyone feels valued and empowered – are worth the effort.
One of the most challenging things about being a new manager are the moments we have to have conversations we wish would…have themselves. Going from boss to coach means difficult conversations are an opportunity for growth; for you AND the team member. You will learn more about conflict resolution from the tough conversations than from the easy ones.
How do you learn to have difficult conversations? You have to have them. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable, make mistakes, and learn from them.
Why Do We Hate Difficult Conversations?
We all arrive in our roles bringing our entire lives up until this moment. The environments we grew up in shape our view of how to communicate, how to interact with conflict (or how to avoid it) and how to empathize.
We don’t teach kids in school all of these crucial conflict management skills. No offense to your favorite math teacher, but perhaps some communication skills could have gotten as much air time as the isosceles triangle?
The adults we become then show up in the workforce with varied viewpoints and have to magically know how to navigate these difficult situations. We hate difficult conversations because we:
- Don’t have the skills to navigate them.
- Don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
- Have grown accustomed to avoiding conflict.
There’s actually a huge fallout to avoiding these conversations. According to Bravely, 70% of employees are avoiding difficult conversations with their boss, colleagues, or direct reports. This actually costs companies money, time, and employee engagement.
Types of difficult conversations
Addressing differing perspectives and workstyles
- These can be minor and based on interpersonal reasons or even work-specific perspectives that need to be ironed out.
- An ongoing discomfort in your relationship with a team member (i.e. increased misunderstandings, tension, etc).
Identifying a workplace behavior that has a negative impact
- You’ve got a super start on your team, but they tend to roll in Monday morning sharing about their weekend and are TMI gold medalists. Some team members feel a little uncomfortable and before it gets worse, you’ve got to address it.
- You have a team member who has attendance or lateness issues.
- A team member hasn’t been pulling their weight.
Managing conflict between two team members
- Two team members regularly disagree during team meetings causing discomfort for the team and delaying team action.
- There’s been an actual incident in the workplace of conflict that must be addressed ASAP.
- A project is stalled because of conflict between co-workers.
Having to fire someone
- Negative performance has been a pattern and after all appropriate action has been taken according to HR. You have to let the person go.
- Budget cuts or layoffs are impacting the company and a person’s position is being eliminated.
Starting Difficult Conversations
The reality is these types of conversations usually cannot wait. The impact of waiting can make the impact even worse for the individual, your team and yes…you. Similarly with giving feedback, how you START the conversation can really set the tone for a productive face-to-face interaction. Here’s some conversation starters that help to level the playing field as you approach a conflict situation:
- “There’s something I think we should discuss that will help improve our working relationship.”
- “I’d like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I’d like to get your point of view.”
- “I think we have different perspectives about ____________. I’d like to understand how you are thinking about it.
- “I’d like to see if we can come to a mutual understanding regarding___________. I really want to understand where you are coming from and also share my perspective.”
These difficult conversation starters help to interrupt fear and make it clear that this will be an exchange. Notice there is no judgment about the differences that may be present. This is part of becoming a good leader. Embracing that there are people who have valid perspectives that you may not agree with and understand is critical to being able to create mutual respect as you collaborate and lead others.
Difficult Conversation Planning Strategies
For all you color coded planners out there, YES you can plan for a difficult conversation. However you don’t want to OVERPLAN. Let some of it be organic. It’s tough to trust yourself but remember you can always criticize yourself with some self-deprecating humor later with a friend. Here’s a helpful guide to preparing for these conversations:
- Determine the desired outcomes from the conversation, for YOU and the team member.
- Pick your conversation opener. Don’t overscript it, but have a general idea.
- Remember to use your active listening skills to better understand the person’s point of view, even if you don’t agree.
- What are the MOST important things you need to get across?
- What information do you need (if any) to support the conversation?
- Anticipate some possible responses and consider how you will handle each one. This is not supposed to freak you out, it’s just to give you some batting practice for the big game.
- What is the BEST case scenario? (Yes, let’s get positive going into this. We often go to a place of gloom and doom, making crucial conversations like this more difficult than they have to be.)
- What are the next steps you need to communicate in conversation (i.e. does this conversation require any follow up?
Remember our FEAR about these challenging conversations is usually bigger than the actual conversation. You will often let out a huge sigh of relief after you have one, so remind yourself of the COST of waiting. Go all Nike on this one and just DO IT!
Help Your Leaders Move From A Boss to Coach!
Inside you'll learn:
- Strategies for developing essential leadership skills within your managers
- Best practices for communicating and coaching your team
- Insight for navigating conflict and change
- Practical ideas for enhancing teamwork and motivating team members
About Stephanie Licata
With more than two decades of leadership and management experience, Stephanie Licata is a skilled professional coach, adult learning specialist, consultant and speaker. She has trained thousands of leaders and managers in the art and science of coaching as part of large-scale projects to develop coaching cultures within organizations. Stephanie received her professional coaching certification from New York University, and is also certified at the ACC level with the International Coaching Federation. She holds a BS in counseling and a Masters in Organizational Psychology from Columbia University.
